When I was younger I was a chronic quitter. High school wrestling and soccer, camp counselor, college fraternity, acting and the list goes on.
Remembering back, at the time I had what I believed were legitimate reasons for quitting each endeavor. I guess I could go through them, but I am not sure it really matters. What matters is that I quit. I started something with good intentions and when the road grew a little dark and challenging I shut down and turned away.
There have been a number of people and commitments in my life that I have contemplated quitting: my marriage, partnership with my brother in our family business, my parents and myself. But, to date I have not.
A number of years ago, I went through some powerful experiences that I was unable to quit, that helped to reshape my perspective on the value in following our experiences through to a “knowing” end.
By “knowing” end I mean to a point where there is an innate and instinctive understanding that the experience has afforded all it has to offer.
Over a five year period I had been involved with 7 separate personal and business lawsuits. For some, that number might seem inconsequential and for others, who have never been involved in a lawsuit, it might seem catastrophic. For me, it was the nature of these lawsuits that had taken me to the brink of mental breakdown.
During a hockey game I skated to get a puck and crashed into a player from the opposing team. I later found out that he had broken his elbow. I was sued for negligence. I had purchased a home and the legal description did not match the actual lot size. I sued the owner for fraud and misrepresentation. The same home was sold to a builder 5 years later, I put the actual lot size on the purchase agreement, and he failed to check the county’s deed which showed that the lot was 6 feet shorter than the legal description of the property that he obtained. I was sued for fraud and misrepresentation. An ex-employee claimed that she was fired without cause. Another ex-employee, who had been stealing money was fired, and then he sued. My company Resource was sued for wrongful discharge. After refusing to release 5 employees from their employment contracts, they claimed a hostile working environment. My company was sued for sexual harassment.
It seemed that when one lawsuit would end another would start. That was a turbulent and confusing time. And only now, years removed from those experiences, can I appreciate the lessons they were meant to teach. And so it is with many experiences that make us uncomfortable or force us to feel life in a way that is demanding, stressful or even painful.
By allowing these difficult experiences to unfold naturally, I would soon attune to and understand messaging that I had missed many times before.
For my organization, the signs were playing out daily as it related to our management of employee issues, but we failed to heed the warnings. Additionally, there were signs, within my personal life, which were warning me about personality flaws that were going unattended. Failing to identify and adjust the issues of imbalance in your personal or business life, when the signs start to appear, will ultimately lead to a situation where you are forced to deal with them, in one way or another.
By quitting and not allowing experiences to unfold in a more natural way you run the risk of halting the progression of events that maybe were meant to truly change the dynamic that is you.
With that said: Quitting is not always the wrong path. Sometimes quitting is the path.
But, that realization can only come if you have attained clarity, focus and understanding around the event. These states of mind and states of consciousness can be achieved in a number of ways, the most effective by remaining in the present moment; free from the Guilt of the past, Fear of the future and Anger around someone else.
Allow the events, experiences and people in your life the time and space to evolve in a way that will enrich your life.